


The Big Time

by AllTrekkedUp



Category: Martin and Lewis
Genre: Break Up, Drama & Romance, F/M, Heartbreak In More Ways Than One, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Love Growing Cold, M/M, Movie Making, Show Business, movies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2020-12-28 07:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21132611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTrekkedUp/pseuds/AllTrekkedUp
Summary: This will follow Dean and Jerry's relationship as their movies got started and progressed.  How that their careers progressed and their personal relationship declined.





	1. My Friend Irma- One

They didn't want him. He wasn't any good. He knew it and everyone at the studio sure as hell knew it. He sat on his bed glum faced, the problem was was that he wasn't fit for the part, but Dean was tailor made for his. He looked over at his partner sitting on the other bed, he too looked down, they had been so excited for this moment, Hollywood, movies, the real glmour life that happened in star's houses and at red carpet movie premiers. But that seemed as far away as the Copa now, for Jerry anyway.

"Well, who needs movies anyway? We can go back to the clubs, I mean we're a hit, right?" Dean spoke up.

Jerry closed his eyes. He knew Dean would do this, he loved him so much for it too, but because he loved him he couldn't let him do it. "Paul, they are offering you the role, you need to take it. Besides, we're under contract, they have to put me somewhere," he said.

"But if we can't be together, you know, like we are on stage, what's the point?" Dean asked.

"Maybe I can do something about that... I mean, Mr. Wallis did want us because he loved our act. If I can get him to see that we'll both be better if we do something like we do on stage then I bet it would improve the whole picture!" Jerry said, face lighting up.

"Improvin' the whole picture? That's a lot to be askin' for," Dean said. 

"Look, I know it would," Jerry said seriously. He knew how good he and Dean were, maybe Dean didn't see all the time but Jerry knew. He knew that if he could just get some changes made everything would be alright and the glitz and glamour wouldn't be so far away afterall.

Dean studied his eyes a moment. He had seen Jerry serious before, but this was a different level, this meant something to him. This was the look he had when he talked about the sick kids he wanted to help- nothing would stop him from doing this. "Alright, Joey," he said.

Jerry smiled. He got up and patted Dean's shoulder. "I'm gonna call Mr. Wallis's office and then go down there. I'll use the phone in the hall so I can take off when I hang up!" he said.

"Okay. Don't wreck getting there, the car's a rental," Dean grinned.

Jerry chuckled. "Kiss me luck, Dino," he said and leaned down and closed his eyes expectedly.

Dean gave him warm kiss. "Go get 'em, Tiger," he said.

Jerry went to the door. "You'll see. You'll be proud of me!" he said. 

"I already am," Dean said.

Those words gave Jerry an extra boost of confidence to go after what he wanted.


	2. My Friend Irma- Two

Jerry didn't return until the next day but Dean wasn't worried- at least that's what he kept telling himself. When Jerry did come in he promptly got up on Dean's bed and started bouncing on it. Dean had been in the bathroom but hurried out when he heard the commotion. 

"Jer? Are you okay? Where have you been?" Dean asked. He stood there looking at his partner who just might have gone batty while he was out.

"I did it, Paul! Me and the writer, we wrote me a new part! It's gonna be great! We're gonna screen test again in the morning!" Jerry grinned.

Dean grinned. "That's wonderful, Jer!" he said. He held his arms out when he saw Jerry shift and turn towards him, Jerry jumped into his arms and they both sat down on the bed. 

Jerry moved off his lap and rolled over to sit on the other side of the bed, all his emotions bubbled up to the surface and he started to cry. He had felt stressed almost from their first day in Hollywood, when he started seeing all the movie stars and all their excellent acting and he knew he didn't quite measure up. Now he had made himself a way into his first picture and he couldn't be anymore relieved. 

Dean felt a little confused, Jerry had never distanced himself from him before, especially when he cried. Now he didn't know what to do with himself, he wanted to comfort Jerry, but maybe Jerry didn't want that. He just got up and walked into the bathroom to shower, which is what he had planned on doing when Jerry came in anyway.

***

The screen test had been a hit and now they were into the filming. They were really enjoying it, well Jerry was, Dean hated repeating scenes, he was a one take man he had come to find out. But Jerry was in awe of everything, the cameras especially, but every aspect of the process fascinated him. 

They liked their co-stars and the story was nice, they had a good time on set, Mr. Wallis could be a bear to deal with but they got along okay. When everything wrapped up they were excited for the people to see their first flim, they were able to go back to playing the clubs before the premier of the picture. Dean didn't care so much about a red carpet affair but Jerry was thrilled with it, they had the wives with them and after the picture they partied the night away.

The next morning Dean woke up and stepped out of the hotel room door and got the paper he had left word for with the clerk. He opened it and turned straight to the movie section, their picture was the second one down on the page, the header read: Jerry Lewis Steals The Show! Dean smiled, but there would come a time such words would make him feel sick to his stomach.


	3. My Friend Irma Goes West- One

They are going to do a sequel of their first movie, at least that's what Jerry called it, Dean was kind of disappointed and frustrated, he had hoped for something fresh but oh well, it was work. At least they had been back doing the clubs again in between time, this is what Dean liked, him and Jerry doing their thing on stage. But they had never turned out crowds as big as they were now, they had never been to so many places either and it was a lot. Jerry excelled while Dean retreated, he didn't like big crowds, he didn't like so much attention, he didn't like having to sometimes leave a good plate of pasta because maybe somebody recognized them. He loved the act though, he loved Jerry in the act, the kid, the idiot, he loved that, he loved him. The real Jerry hadn't really changed that much since their first movie but Dean found himself keeping his distance. All the papers said Jerry was the talented one, Dean was a second rate singer that sometime sounded like Bing Crosby, those words stuck with him, he didn't talk about it, but they did.

One evening they were leaving a show, back in Los Angeles to begin filming in the next few days, but they had done a show because they were booked to do so. And it seemed like they were booked to play everywhere plus the moon these days and Dean was tired and lighting a cigarette as they went out the door. There were reporters there and flashing cameras, Jerry turned to one and started answering questions, they kind of surrounded him but Dick pushed them back so Jerry could breathe. Dean just walked away. There was only one car to take them to the hotel so he walked down the street a ways and found a cab waiting for fare, it took him back to the hotel. Jerry didn't get back for another forty minutes, Dean was sitting in a chair watching a late show on TV, now that they had more money they could afford a hotel with a TV in the room since TV was still a new thing.

"Where the hell did you go back there?! I looked around for you and you were just gone! I was worried sick! I almost called the police!" Jerry said. He came around in front of the TV as he jerked his coat off.

"I was tired. You were doing fine, besides, they didn't want to talk to me anyway," Dean said.

"Of course they wanted to talk to you! We're Martin and Lewis remember? Not just Lewis!" Jerry said.

"Yeah." Dean said.

There was a hollowness in his voice and a hardness in his eyes that worried Jerry, he sank to his knees and put his hands up on Dean's. "Paul? What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" he asked.

Dean looked down at him, those big brown eyes looking up at him, when he was sad or worried he always looked like a little boy. How could Dean be mad at him? He really didn't hold anything against Jerry he was just...he didn't really know what he was but he didn't like it yet he couldn't seem to escape such feelings. He reach down and touched Jerry's face. "No. Of course not," he said.

Jerry smiled and raised up to kiss Dean. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too," Dean said, he meant it.

"Take me to bed, huh?" Jerry asked with a wink.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I'm still hyper from the show, bang it out of me. You know, like you used to when you got mad at me for bouncing around the room when you were tired?" Jerry asked.

"Oh. Alright," Dean grinned. He kissed Jerry again, deep and ever deeper, hoping to kiss these feelings away.


	4. My Friend Irma Goes West- Two

It's sometime in the night and Dean feels strange, he opens his eyes and finds two more open eyes staring at him. Jerry is awake and looking at him, he gives a faint smile when he sees Dean is awake now too, he wraps his arms around Dean, fingers running down his back.

"I woke you, didn't I?" Jerry asked.

"Yeah, sort of. Can't you sleep?" Dean asked.

"No. I was just thinking... You know we've been together for almost five years now. We have no boundaries anymore, I mean, here we are in bed, naked, talking in the middle of the night and we don't think anything about it. Because we're basically a couple right?" Jerry asked.

It was clear to Dean that Jerry had been awake thinking ever since they had made love. He looked at him tiredly. "Yeah I'd say so," he agreed. Maybe if they had whatever conversation Jerry had on his mind they could both sleep.

"And you know how I feel about you, I share everything with you. Even things you don't want to hear about. You know more about me than Patti does," Jerry said.

Dean gave a slight smile. "That's right."

"And you trust me right? You trust me with our act and our money, with everything almost," Jerry went over.

"You know I do," Dean said.

"Then why are you running away from me? Putting up walls between us? We're partners in so many ways, I'm here to share the burdens you know?" Jerry asked. He was very worried about this, Dean and the act were his life.

Dean sighed. "Do we have to talk about this?" he asked.

"Yes, Dino. We do," Jerry said.

Dean tried to find somewhere else to look but it was hard since Jerry was so close. "It's just...all this...fame? It's so..."

"Overwhelming?" Jerry offered.

"Right. And you're so much better at it then I am. It really makes me feel like a backward country boy," Dean said, if he could still refer to himself as a boy now being in his thirties. And he couldn't really say how he felt, this was as close to it as he would come.

"But you're so wonderful, Paul! You're just the Hollywood type, tall, tan and handsome, you give every leading man a run for their money. It was me they didn't know what to do with remember? The monkey they were baffled by, not you. You're a great actor and you have a voice better than anyone!" Jerry praised. 

"Only to you, Jerry," Dean said.

"That's not true. You'll see, when we do this new movie, you'll be a smash in it!" Jerry assured.

"Yeah sure..." Dean said, not believing but a part of him hoped.

"Sure you will. Because the rest of the world will surely realize you're a hero of the sliver screen," Jerry smiled.

Dean gave a little laugh, he reach up and stroked Jerry's face, looking at him a moment. "You know, you've really grown up. The Jerry I used to know wouldn't have a serious conversation in the middle of the night, nor did he know how to ask for what he wanted from me," he said.

Jerry beamed. "You helped me, you grew me up, Paul. If it wasn't for you I would never have made it here," he said.

"That's not true," Dean shook his head.

"Yes it is. It's time you got to know yourself- what an amazing guy that Dean Martin is," Jerry said.

Dean didn't say anything, he just thought.

"In the meantime-" Jerry kissed him. "Why don't we have round two, huh? Make me scream and wake the neighbors," he said, he bit down on Dean's shoulder. 

Dean chuckled. "You're a glutton for punishment tonight," he said.

"You bring that out in me. And so much more," Jerry smiled.

***

The days passed, filming started and Dean was actually having fun. Jerry was having a ball, he and the chimp that also played in the movie became fast friends, they pulled some pranks and had quite a lot of laughs doing this one. Dean started to feel better about it, he felt like he was giving his all to the part, such as it was, and it was a lot more fun than the last time. It went by fast since it was a pleasant time and they were back to work on stage and on the road until the movie premiered. 

Hoping for good reviews they had them, Jerry and the rest of the cast anyway, Dean was only mentioned in passing.


	5. At War With The Army- One

This next movie is a real drag to Dean, he hates the idea and his character. For one thing, he or Jerry either one has ever been in the service so they don't know what actual camp life is like, not that they have to really, since this is just a movie. But Dean had taken a lot of flak for having not been in during the war, he couldn't join though, hernias and all, but that never stopped him from being heckled and having things thrown at him while on stage. It wasn't as bad as what Sinatra went through, was more famous, but it left a bad taste in his mouth that he would never forget, he was also afraid this might bring up that whole business again. His character was a real jerk, he hated that, because even though he was playing a part he didn't like playing such a jerk. He really was quite mean to Jerry's character- which no matter what they were filming always seemed to be some version of Jerry himself or his stage character, Dean had no such luck. He was afraid that people might think he was actually like that in real life, especially kids, and he didn't want that kind of image. 

This was their first "outside" movie, they could make one a year outside of their deal with Hal Wallis. At least Dean thought that was how it went, he wasn't very sure of anything in the movie business other than that he hated rehearsing and doing scenes over and over. Jerry was in charge of their business, Dean trusted him with it, and the kid was really learning how things worked behind the cameras too. Dean also hated when they had lunch or breaks and Jerry would be talking to the higher ups about the dynamics of certain scenes or how he felt the camera should voom out 'x' moment when they got back to work. Dean felt very left out of such conversation and with the whole lot of people around him, what was he doing here anyway? He was asking himself that question alot these days.

One day he skipped lunch all together just to avoid feeling insecure, all the people Jerry like to hang around with were a lot smarter than him and he got tired of nodding in agreement with something he knew nothing about. He was on his second cigarette in less than fifteen minutes, he felt like he needed them, his nerves were on edge, he jumped when Jerry suddenly came around the corner and found him.

"Shit, Jer!" he muttered.

"Paul, what are you doing here? I looked and couldn't find you in the lunch room," Jerry said.

"I just needed a smoke by myself," Dean said, avoiding Jerry's eyes.

"Oh now, Paul-"

"Don't use that tone with me, Jer!" Dean snapped.

Jerry was taken a back. "W-what tone?" he stuttered. 

"That mother hen 'come back and play nice with your pals, Dino'." Dean jerked the cigarette back to his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Paul," Jerry said. He felt like he had had the wind kicked out of him, Dean was upset again, things had been going so good too.

Dean took a deep breath and let it out through his nose, smoke coming out with it. "Just...just leave me be awhile. I'll be back when lunch is over," he said.

Jerry merely nodded and started walking away. He had a terrible sick feeling in his gut.


	6. At War With The Army- Two

Jerry couldn't go back and eat so he opted to go back the office set and sit down behind what was Dean's character's desk. He felt disheartened, he knew things had been alright between them for a while now, but is worst thought was that Dean's new bride was trying to turn him against Jerry. Dean hadn't been divorced long when he married Jeanne and Jerry was disappointed that he chose to marry so soon. Being as selfish as he was where Dean was concerned he just wanted them to have some time together, but no Dean had to tie the knot again right off the bat, and to a woman Jerry didn't like- the feeling was mutual. Jerry guessed they were both jealous of one another, of the attention each received from Dean, when they were both in the same room Dean generally made himself scarce. There were a couple of times that Jerry almost told her just how far his relationship with Dean went, he wanted to see the look on her face as he broke the news that Dean kept more than just her company regularly. But his love for Dean stopped him, he didn't want to hurt his partner, but maybe his new wife was trying to hurt Jerry and turning Dean away from him would be a fatal blow.

Tears fogged his eyes and his hands balled into fists on the desk top, it felt hard to breathe and he took shallow, gasping breaths. Just the thoughts of that caused him to feel faint and shaky, he and Dean had been together too long to let anything separate them now. What was he to do? Should he throw himself at Dean? Take his mind off of that blonde wife of his for a day or two. Maybe he should beg him not to listen to her and give him a chance to show him how good things were for them. Maybe they just needed to talk, but Dean wasn't too good at that, something Jerry had lamented many times over. Jerry felt awfully sick and stood and almost fell getting to the trash can a few feet away to throw up in. 

"Jerry?!" he heard his name called as he was still heaving. Then he felt a hand on his back and someone kneeling next to him, the hand was large and he knew exactly who it belonged too.

Dean waited a moment after Jerry finished to make sure he wasn't going to throw up anymore and sat down Indian style on the floor and took him gently by the shoulders and guided him back onto his lap. "You okay, honey?" he asked with concern. He took out his handkerchief and gave it to Jerry to wipe his mouth with and gently rubbed his arm with the other hand.

Jerry wiped his mouth and looked at Dean's hand rubbing him. "This is all your fault!" he then hit Dean with his fist on the shoulder. 

"Ow! What is?" Dean asked, he didn't know what was going on.

"You made me sick!" Jerry said, he crossed his arms.

Dean chuckled because he looked like he was pouting. "I did? How?" he asked, hugging him.

"You...you don't want me around anymore..." Jerry kept his head down. 

"What?! Because I wanted to smoke through lunch? Oh, Jer. What gets in that head of yours?! Of course I want you around, I told you before, you're not my problem, you don't make me angry," Dean said.

"Honest?" Jerry asked.

"Honest. I just get...I don't know... It doesn't matter. It's not about you okay?" Dean made clear.

"Well, we talked before remember? You can tell me your problems," Jerry reminded.

"I know, I know," Dean said, he ran the back of his hand up Jerry's cheekbone.

"I love you- even though you made me sick," Jerry smiled.

"I love you too. Now we had better get up before someone sees us," Dean said.

They got up and hugged. Crisis averted- for now.


	7. That's My Boy-One

The next movie, set in college, with Dean as a football star and Jerry as a boy doing his best to please a father that he was nothing like, was actually an enjoyable picture. Jerry was by and far the star but Dean didn't mind, he liked to watch Jerry's scenes, him with his glasses on and acting like a real jerky kid. One evening the filming went late and once they were finally finished everyone went to their dressing rooms to change and go home, except Dean, Jerry didn't know where he had gotten off to. A shock of fear bolted through him thinking that maybe he had left without telling him, maybe he had had a spell of anger or sadness as had befallen him while filming some of their other pictures and he had just left. Such thoughts caused Jerry to search more eagerly down hallways and through sets, when he came across the set which in the film was their dorm room, he did a double take. Dean lay there on the bottom of the bunkbed, eyes closed. Jerry walked over and bent down, licking his face.

"Down boy!" Dean said, opening his eyes with a smile forming on his lips.

Jerry grinned and didn't hesitate to crawl right in beside him and push himself down in the bed in order to tuck in close to Dean, head on his chest. "I didn't know what had happened to you! I was worried," he said. His long fingers working up and down the buttons of Dean's shirt.

"I was here. Nothing to worry about," Dean said. He wrapped an arm around Jerry to hold him closer.

Jerry ran his hand all the way down Dean's belly, letting it slip into his pants.

"Hey! Whatta ya doin'!" Dean asked.

"Touching," Jerry simply replied. 

"Well I don't think you need to be doing 'that' kind of touching here, pal," Dean said, not that he minded, but anyone could walk up on them.

Jerry didn't say anything, he just laid his head down on Dean's chest and put one arm snugly around his waist and laid there a few seconds listening to the hum of life inside Dean's body, the air going in and out of his lungs and the gentle 'thump-thump' of his heart beating. "You know, sometimes I fool myself. I think maybe if I get close enough and touch enough and look enough that I can find out who this Dean Martin really is," he spoke.

Dean swallowed as he looked down at Jerry, he wasn't quite expecting this. He felt he was close to Jerry, the closest he had ever been to any other human being in his life, more close than husband and wife in all ways. And a part of him wanted to tell Jerry just exactly what he thought about everything and discuss it together but another part of him panicked at the very thought and put up even more walls to keep that from happening. To protect himself from what hurt that could come from sharing everything with someone else, though the hurt was bound to come regardless. "But I have decided that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that you don't always tell me things that bother you, that I don't know the deepest parts of you. Because I love you. And when you love somebody you can make allowances, you can do anything, if you really love them," Jerry said. He gave Dean a squeeze and cuddled closer, tangling his legs in with Dean's. Dean bit the inside of his lip, what a partner he had, what a beautiful and loving person Jerry was. Any and all faults were forgotten for that moment and Dean kissed Jerry's forehead and squeezed him tighter back. Actions would have to do what words failed him.


	8. That's My Boy-Two

When the movie wrapped they went to film a TV show of all things. The Colgate Comedy Hour in New York, they did skits and sang songs and did promotions for themselves and products of the company they worked for, a drummed down version of their club shows. Dean didn't mind it but for the rehearsing, which he hated no matter where they were, stage, in front of the camera, you name it. He hated that and the fact that he was starting to feel tired, and feeling tired made him feel old, which compared to Jerry he was, his partner's 'old man' jokes were starting to become a tender spot, but Dean didn't say anything of course. 

They had finished up a Comedy Hour show with Jerry promoting That's My Boy toward the end of it, Dean was headed to their dressing room to change. He was sweaty and tired from their ending dance routine and his shirt was unbuttoned down to the third button as he wiped his forehead with an already damp handkerchief passing Jerry talking to their friend Dick Stabile in the hall. Jerry gave a hurried good bye to Dick, leaving him the moment he saw Dean go by, passing without a word and disappearing into the dressing room. Jerry followed not at all unlike a puppy follows his boy to school, shutting the door just as Dean began peeling off his coat, his large finger tips going to work on his shirt buttons.

"You did good tonight, bubbe," Jerry praised. He sat down and took his shoes off. There was a bubbly happiness gushing out of him, Dean could not only see it but it was like a physical presence in the room, a thing Dean wished he could tap into. For Jerry they had arrived, the big time, it was what he worked so hard to achieve, everybody in America knew who Martin and Lewis was, only that Lewis was the only one they came out to see, or so Dean felt.

"I was here," came Dean's flat reply. He shouldn't have said it, he regretted it as soon as it came out of his mouth. For there went the gushing happy presence, like air sucked out of a balloon, worry replaced it, concern settling in on Jerry's face and God Dean didn't want to have 'that' conversation again, right now tonight.

"Paul-" Jerry started.

Dean turned around with a smile plastered on his face, he used every ounce of acting ability he had to make it seem natural. "You think the folks will go out and see our movie? I really liked that one," he said. Now naked to the waist he went to put on another shirt from a rack lining the back of their dressing room wall.

Jerry searched his eyes a moment, open mouthed still from what he was about to say before. "I sure hope so," he said carefully.

"I hope they can believe me being in college. I sure couldn't," Dean chuckled. 

"Why not?" Jerry asked. He was serious, Dean knew that change in his voice, he knew how he was looking at him even with his back turned. That earnest, interested look, like how a girl looks at you on a date when they ask what you like and what you want for your future. And Dean's hands paused as he buttoned, just as he did when the girls asked those questions, because he had never looked that far ahead nor thought that deep, why couldn't there ever be one just once who only wanted a meal, a dance and a fuck?

"Well, I mean... You know. Smart people with rich daddies go to colleges. People who work nine to five and talk about the stock market like a naked woman. I ain't that kind of people," Dean said. Finished his buttons, stayed turned around hoping Jerry would drop this line of questioning.

"You're smart, Paul. Don't ever believe you're not. You're absolutely incredible! But I don't believe everybody is bound for higher education, everyone is meant for something and it doesn't always come out of a book or a professor's mouth. I mean, look at us, we didn't even finish high school and here we are, making America laugh! But I guess my point is, that if you wanted to go back to school, I know you could do it," Jerry said confidently.

Dean couldn't stop a half smile at his words. "Jer, you're so good," was all he could say.

Jerry walked up behind him and hooked his arms around Dean's neck. "At what?" he asked, resting his head on Dean's. 

"At everything it seems like," Dean said, the closeness made his heart pound. Even after all this time Jerry's hands on him got his body excited, reminded him that he was in love even though it was a struggle sometimes.

Jerry smiled, Dean could feel the change his face as he did so. He kissed Dean's ear. "Come on, I'll buy you spaghetti," he offered. 

Dean swallowed and felt Jerry giggle. "Don't worry, I won't jump you in the booth," he said.

A part of him wanted to say no but another part of him couldn't, didn't want to see Jerry sad. 'Alright," he agreed.

Jerry grinned. "Good! I'll see you by the back door!" he called as he bounced out of the room.

Dean sighed. Resting would just have to wait.


End file.
